Valentine's Day - Aka The Day I Brought The Tyrannosexy Back

So last night me and the girl (here and forever known as Girlfriend) were chillaxin' on the couch eating dinner and trying to find something on the tube. Since we had already celebrated V-Day the evening before with a little dinner, wine and music we were no longer obligated to try and be overly romantic. Even though we sat there in our sweatpants, me eating a giant mound of chinese dumplings and her chowing down some leftover shepherd's pie we still thought it would be nice to find something kind of romantic on TV (since it was technically Valentine's Day).

We both figured since it was Valentine's day and all it would be easy to find some cheesy romantic comedy or maybe showing of the Notebook somewhere on the 50,000 channels we have. Well, once again the people who in charge of television programming have baffled me once again. The following was the selection of choices available to us:

1. The NBA All-Star Game (which Sweetass immediately veto'd)

Most people don't care to watch a bunch of millionaire athletes compete in what is essentially a 60 minute long string of trick shots and dunks, but either I'm enamored by all the star power on the court or I'm easily amused by anything shiny.


2. Strange Sex

Not just a show about people with strange sexual disorders, but an entire series (I immediately added it to the DVR schedule). Cases explored included Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder. Apparently since childhood, a woman has suffered in silence from unrelenting episodes of sexual arousal, which can only be temporarily abated by self-stimulation. After finally being diagnosed, she and her doctor seek to alleviate the symptoms of the debilitating and consuming affliction that her physician describes as "Tourette's syndrome of the genitals." I know the question you're all asking yourselves and the answer is: No. She wasn't hot.


And when Strange Sex was on commercial we flipped over to:

3. Tyrannosaurus Sex (No, i'm not kidding)

Ah yes the age old question. "How did the T-Rex get all his bitches?" Well now a whole gang of ubber-nerds - who probably haven't been laid lately themselves - have given us the answers. According to the director Gabriel Gornell "Ultimately we had to make sure that everything we were doing was spot on. It's one thing to have the sizzle of animating dinosaurs having sex, but what takes it to the next level is when the information is there. It really is a learning experience for the viewer." Yes, you actually got to watch to watch as T-Rex turned the lights low, lit some candles, turned up the Barry White and got his freak on with Mrs. T-Rex. The only thing I could think while watching was this: If I was the guy animating this scene, would I being thinking to myself "I went to art school to animate dinosaurs fucking. Fuck my life."


And what did I learn from this documentary? Girlfriend is not aroused by dinosaurs fucking nearly as much as I am....




(EDIT, I randomly found this picture on the internet. I just noticed something... is this girl blind? That just made it 10x funnier. )